First God created man, then he created woman. The he created dating, and woman got really frustrated with the whole process.
Enter Believing Beth, stage right, on a date with this week’s featured candidate: Atheist Andy.
She met AA on Match.com and things seemed right. Phone conversations went well and next thing you know, she and this “Hottie” are on a four-hour marathon date. Conversation is flowing and just when she thinks maybe there’s a chance for a second date – WHAM! His toolishness smacks her like a hammer dropped on her toes.
We meet our characters three hours and 30 minutes into the date. The candles are lit, the restaurant is full of amicable chatter and the couple is smiling at each other from across the table. Then AA finds out that BB believes in God.
Curtain and cue.
AA: You believe in God? Seriously? That’s ridiculous. There is no God.
BB: Well, that’s not what I believe.
AA: But you seem like such a smart girl. It’s stupid to believe in God.
End Scene.
Setting: Next day, in an e-mail box …
Dear BB: Thanks for the great date, but I just don’t think we are a great match.
Signed, AA
Her reaction, though she did not reply: Thanks for letting me down easy bud, LIKE I was ever going to talk to you again.
Moral of the story: don’t discuss religion on a date. Yes, it’s a job interview and you want to find out the bad stuff as soon as possible. Clearly AA did not find BB suitable for the job of girlfriend or eventual wife. But sometimes it’s better to leave the super sensitive questions for the second interview. And if you’re going to discuss it, “I disagree” is a better approach than “You’re stupid.”
One more moral to this tale, however. Although BB did not childishly respond to AA’s rejection email, she found herself in a bit of a tool position.
She went tool on match.com.
“I got sick and tired of seeing all these guys look at my profile but have them not contact me–what is UP with that????? So I broke my cardinal online dating rule-DO NOT EVER EVER EVER contact an Internet dude first, as they automatically won’t be interested.”
She thought, “What the hell? What do I have to lose?”
Answer: Dignity.
She slut wink herself all over the place, “winking at every hot guy as quickly as I could possibly click my mouse within a 20-minute time frame.”
The next day she checked her e-mail, only two find two “thanks but no thanks” responses. Nearly all the wink receivers looked at her profile but not even one winked back.
“It’s enough to make a girl want to throw in the dating towel,” she said. “Never again will I break down and contact an Internet dude again-and neither should YOU.”
Lesson learned, Beth.
Triangle Trysts 
May 26, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I’ve got to say, Internet dating sites are what you make of them. Personally the gay oriented ones are 100x worse, because everybody there is looking for a hookup, not a relationship. Either way, I’d go into them with caution.
May 26, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I disagree with the: Never Talk Religion on a First Date suggestion. I think if it comes up in conversation, then it’s an OK topic. I know I could never marry an atheist, so I would rather find out on the first date that he is one so I don’t waste my time. That said, I would never tell an atheist he is stupid, nor would I expect to be called stupid for my beliefs. That said, I don’t think you should intentionally bring it up, like a checklist of topics you have to tackle on the first date. BB is much better off though, dude was definitely a tool.
May 31, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Don’t throw your towel in just yet…..
I agree that the “Atheist Andy” type frightens me especially because I am a “believing beth” too….
I do think that questions about religion, politics are just as important as family life, job security and interests……
If you don’t know these things right away and find out later, it might cause for more disappointment…
Its a package deal and some things can be significant deal breakers for a long term relationship (especially if you were to have a child — how do you raise them with one parent believing in science and one believing in a spiritual being)…
Don’t throw your towel in yet ( i haven’t) but I agree..Dating shouldn’t be this hard!!
February 25, 2010 at 7:05 am
[…] our initial conversation, I found out he used to be a youth minister. So on our first date, I broke from my usual rules and brought up […]