A girl once told me a story of her youthful years at the clubs, when she made out with a guy on the dance floor.

At 21, this seems like acceptable silly girl behavior. Now that 30 is about to smack us in the face (and leave lines), she can’t even imagine doing something like that.

We’re not 21 anymore, Toto.

Last weekend at the club, I listened as the woman outside my bathroom stall left that voicemail for someone.

“Hey girl, just calling to see if you were coming out to celebrate the big 4-0 with me. We’re at Solas, partying it up.”

Sure enough, when I entered the dance floor, I saw a mix of ages from mid-twenties to mid-forties. More than one woman had fake boobs and heavy makeup that was settling into a few lines around her eyes.

Before going out dancing, the girls and I discussed possible locations. We settled on Solas for the fun of it. It certainly has a different atmosphere from Mosquito. At one point, we discussed possibly jaunting to Chapel Hill, but we all agreed that we weren’t looking to hang out with 21-year-olds.

So instead we end up with 41-year-olds.

Kevin was out last weekend, too, and was annoyed by the noise level at Raleigh Times, where he had to scream to talk to his friends.

“We moved to a different bar,” he said. “Is that a sign I’m getting old – when I complain about how loud it is at a bar?”

Maybe. Maybe, as we age, we’ll gravitate away from Times and begin to frequent the bars we used to avoid because the crowd was “too old.”

Does that mean one day I’ll walk into Amra’s and find the married-with-children crowd appealing?

Not ready for that. Or for the 40s crowd. But I don’t want to return to the Chapel Hill collegiate scene, either.

When it comes to the bar scene, there’s no place like home (aka Landmark). But for clubs, where is home when you’re somewhere between 21 and 41?


Today is National Wear Red Day, the kick-off for American Heart Month and the Go Red for Women campaign.

Today is Go Red Day

Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women. Many buildings, including Raleigh’s Shimmer Wall, go red to help us remember.


  • Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women age 20 and over, killing about one woman every minute, and one in three U.S. women die from cardiovascular disease.
  • More women die of cardiovascular disease than the next five causes of death combined, including all forms of cancer.
  • While 1 in 30 American women die of breast cancer, about 1 in 3 die from cardiovascular disease.

On the fun side:

  • Go Red For Women is looking for women to share their heart stories and the choices they make to live a heart-healthy lifestyle, empowering others by example. If you share your story, you could be chosen to be a spokesperson for the cause. Casting call is from 5 to 7 p.m. at Macy’s at Crabtree Valley Mall.
  • If you wear red to Macy’s Friday through Sunday you get a 20 percent discount.
  • The Red Room Tapas Lounge will offer free heart-healthy appetizers to patrons as well as information on heart health from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. today, 510 Glenwood Ave.

The girls and I are thinking about hitting the dance floor this weekend. We’ll probably end up at Solas, but last time I was there, the DJ would interrupt every good song after only 30 seconds. Any suggestions on where to go?

I once dated a guy I met on Twitter.

Yep. That was me. If you search “Twitter dating service” you get a lot of tweets about how Twitter is NOT and had better not turn into such a service.

Such as: #deleteyouraccount if you use if as a dating service..man im here to tweet not try to tlk to ya monkey lookin ass!

Um, ok. I agree it’s not a dating service. But hey, it is an open place to meet people. And I met someone, completely by accident. I follow various people in the Raleigh area, and he said something funny one day. So I sent him a flirty DM.

It would have made a great story, “How We Met On Twitter,”  but we weren’t a good match and two months later he turned out to be the jerk I call Darren. I guess we can’t all be Cinderella like Gwen Bell. (Definitely read her story.)

I’ll be the first person to tell you I don’t have a clue about online dating (only speed dating). I was about to try it last spring, for this blog and for the adventure of it, when I began dating Kevin.

However, a lot of you out there are making a New Year’s resolution to find some love in 2010. Online dating is a possibility. And more adults are trying it, at least according to this article. So I’ve taken it upon myself to check out some of the Twitter dating services.

I signed up for each service that I could find and checked them out. Of course, I’m not looking for a date, so this is based on the following factors: ease of use; cool features number of users/apparent likelikhood of finding a date, appearance/format.

If you see one I missed, please let me know. Rankings are on a 1-to-5 scale:
1=Don’t waste your time
2=Only if you’re bored
3=Might be worth a shot, but don’t get your hopes up.
4=Give it a try if the others don’t work.
5=Definitely worth checking out (more…)

“Oh, jeez, here come the tourists.”

“Yikes, it’s field trip time.”

So there we are my group of friends and I. Hanging out at a downtown bar — Landmark, Raleigh Times, Foundation or Busy Bee.

And in came the tourists. Perfect hair. Heavy makeup, dresses, skirts, impractical shoes given the ridiculously cold temperature.

The Glenwood South tourists.

Their faux five-star outfits are a stark contrast to the plaster walls of Times, and don’t match the wood bars and shadows Landmark or Foundation. They order Bud Lights, a choice frowned upon by the beer connoisseurs at Times or the bourbon baristas at Foundation.

“Maybe they got lost,” one friend suggests.

Sip on this comment from Twitter: “Walking down Glenwood South on Saturday night is called ‘The shit show.'”

A taste from a recent article on Raleighgawker:

“… the whipping boy known as GloSo, where any mope with community college credit can Swiss cheese visitraleigh.com’s “Raleigh’s trendiest district” narrative. Although Glenwood South is generally in Zoo’s “NO GO” zone (as there are lots of frat boys and similar types with lots of hair gel who listen to top 40 radio and lots of women with orangish-tinted skin and Forever 21 dresses on)…”

So what’s with this attitude about downtown versus Glenwood South? To most Raleigh residents, “downtown” includes Glenwood South, along with Hargett Street and Moore Square. But for those who hang out, there is a Great Divide. (more…)

OMG! Tomorrow I MIGHT be the proud owner of a very expensive ring from Bailey’s Fine Jewelery. ring_box

Most women spend years looking for a ring — and the man who is going to get down on one knee and pull out the tiny black box with that ring inside.

But my ring hunt is going to be a little different. It’s a scavenger hunt in downtown Raleigh. To even get in, Kevin and I to register and explain why we were worthy of running all over downtown looking for a shiny piece of compressed overpriced carbon inside a black-and-white striped Bailey box.

Did I mention that piece of carbon is worth $20,000?

Apparently the clues are given out via text message and the first one to find the box gets to keep it and the diamond inside!!!

My fellowship of the ring — that’s Kevin and I for you non-geeks — know a LOT about downtown, so we’re very excited about this. And no, if we win, that won’t make us officially engaged.

But hell, for a ring like that I’d marry Frodo.

One thing is for sure; if you’re after someone with a dog, you should visit Lake Johnson.

I felt ambitious last week and decided to walk the entire paved and unpaved trail around the lake. By my calculations, that’s more than 4.5 miles. Can I get a HELL YEAH? (Of course, I later ate two Reese’s Peanut Butter cups to make up for all that exercise. But they were a yummy reward for my hard work.)

If you’re looking to burn some calories, it’s a great walk with scenic views of the lake. But if you’re looking for guys, you might be in a canoe without a paddle. Nearly every person I saw was a woman with a dog. Both older and younger women walked the path; some jogged.

By Lyrabellacqua/Flickr Creative Commons

By Lyrabellacqua/Flickr Creative Commons

This made me feel safer, since I’ve often been admonished for hiking/walking alone.

Granted, the time of day you visit Lake Johnson will naturally affect who is there. Perhaps after work hours the guys flood the paths with their dogs. When I tweeted this observation, a guy friend of mine said he often goes there with his dog.

I did see a few guys. Of those, two were covered in gray hair. One was the requisite young professional-looking type. On top of that, he was shirtless, and hey, a girl’s always gotta appreciate a lean body, right?

But then how does a fine female strike up a conversation while sweaty and gross, especially with another sweaty person who is clearly busy on his run? I guess you just have to go often enough to see the same people and one day attempt a chat.

After all, he did smile at me. That’s always a good start.

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