January 2010

We went to a lake with a lot of rocks, sat on a blanket and looked at the stars. 

That may have been the most unique date I’ve had. Not great, right? 

Thanks to one of those awesome calendars that tells you what month it is, I know that next month is February. 

Oops, I mean, next month is Creative Romance Month. Gee, sure glad someone picked that out. You know, in addition to Black History Month and National Wear Red Day for women’s heart health awareness. It’s also North Carolina Sweet Potato month, in case you were curious. 

Second Empire


As we all know, February is also Valentine’s Day month. In honor of the Creative Romance part, maybe this year we should skip the expensive dinner and demand men come up with something unique. 

Apparently, to show her you really love her, you should go to White Castle, where on Valentine’s Day they’ll give you a candlelight dinner and flowers. 

Not your thing? Well Raleigh’s Segway tour operators have added a new tour just for Valentine’s Day. 

This past weekend Lake Michie had a moonlight canoe tour, according to Ginny  From the Blog. Not sure if they’re doing anything special for V-day, but maybe you could set it up for the right price. 

If you’re single, you might give speed dating a try — on a BUS! 

Check this out – On Feb. 13 you can speed date to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the R-Line. If you’re not familiar, the R-line is downtown Raleigh’s awesome, FREE, circulator bus service. 

According to the Raleigh Downtowner, the event is organized by by G105, Hibernian & Pre-Dating.com

This is all happening at Hibernian Pub and includes G105 broadcasting from 6-8 p.m., raffle prizes, giveaways, and more. Speed daters will actually sit on the bus for their dates, and get drink specials and half-price appetizers at Hibernian from 6-10 p.m. 

Visit pre-dating.com for more information and to register. 

What was your most creative date? Or most creative Valentine’s Day?


Saw this on Twitter: Join us at the Mint, Downtown Raleigh on Jan. 26, 2010 6 p.m.-8 p.m. for our Single’s Mixer.

The trouble is, I can’t seem to find other details. But if you’re single and want to go scope it out, there you go.

I once dated a guy I met on Twitter.

Yep. That was me. If you search “Twitter dating service” you get a lot of tweets about how Twitter is NOT and had better not turn into such a service.

Such as: #deleteyouraccount if you use if as a dating service..man im here to tweet not try to tlk to ya monkey lookin ass!

Um, ok. I agree it’s not a dating service. But hey, it is an open place to meet people. And I met someone, completely by accident. I follow various people in the Raleigh area, and he said something funny one day. So I sent him a flirty DM.

It would have made a great story, “How We Met On Twitter,”  but we weren’t a good match and two months later he turned out to be the jerk I call Darren. I guess we can’t all be Cinderella like Gwen Bell. (Definitely read her story.)

I’ll be the first person to tell you I don’t have a clue about online dating (only speed dating). I was about to try it last spring, for this blog and for the adventure of it, when I began dating Kevin.

However, a lot of you out there are making a New Year’s resolution to find some love in 2010. Online dating is a possibility. And more adults are trying it, at least according to this article. So I’ve taken it upon myself to check out some of the Twitter dating services.

I signed up for each service that I could find and checked them out. Of course, I’m not looking for a date, so this is based on the following factors: ease of use; cool features number of users/apparent likelikhood of finding a date, appearance/format.

If you see one I missed, please let me know. Rankings are on a 1-to-5 scale:
1=Don’t waste your time
2=Only if you’re bored
3=Might be worth a shot, but don’t get your hopes up.
4=Give it a try if the others don’t work.
5=Definitely worth checking out (more…)

“Oh, jeez, here come the tourists.”

“Yikes, it’s field trip time.”

So there we are my group of friends and I. Hanging out at a downtown bar — Landmark, Raleigh Times, Foundation or Busy Bee.

And in came the tourists. Perfect hair. Heavy makeup, dresses, skirts, impractical shoes given the ridiculously cold temperature.

The Glenwood South tourists.

Their faux five-star outfits are a stark contrast to the plaster walls of Times, and don’t match the wood bars and shadows Landmark or Foundation. They order Bud Lights, a choice frowned upon by the beer connoisseurs at Times or the bourbon baristas at Foundation.

“Maybe they got lost,” one friend suggests.

Sip on this comment from Twitter: “Walking down Glenwood South on Saturday night is called ‘The shit show.'”

A taste from a recent article on Raleighgawker:

“… the whipping boy known as GloSo, where any mope with community college credit can Swiss cheese visitraleigh.com’s “Raleigh’s trendiest district” narrative. Although Glenwood South is generally in Zoo’s “NO GO” zone (as there are lots of frat boys and similar types with lots of hair gel who listen to top 40 radio and lots of women with orangish-tinted skin and Forever 21 dresses on)…”

So what’s with this attitude about downtown versus Glenwood South? To most Raleigh residents, “downtown” includes Glenwood South, along with Hargett Street and Moore Square. But for those who hang out, there is a Great Divide. (more…)

Dear Blog:

Happy Birthday! Today you are one year old.

When I started you, I was fresh out of two relationships, both of which left me heartbroken in a short period of time. I was underweight, because when I’m sad, I can’t eat. I was confused, but ready to leave it behind and embrace my single freedom. And as I wrote here a year ago, I was ready to learn.

What have I learned? The true harshness and depth of life’s lessons cannot be impressed upon others easily through a few keyboard strokes. But for the sake of simplicity, here is a list of five things I learned this year about life, love, dating and relationships.

-It’s fun to be single. I spent most of my life yearning for a boyfriend. Most of the time, I didn’t have one. But last year, I was single and I LOVED it. I had a full social calendar, hung out with different groups of people, and tried new things. It was awesome. Deep down, we’re all looking for love with the right person, but what I learned last year is that being single is only a negative if you have the wrong perspective. And that Debbie Downer attitude isn’t going to help you find love, so you might as well have fun.

– It’s not ok to walk on eggshells for your boyfriend.
Duh, right? It’s that Cosmo advice I always rolled my eyes at. What intelligent, college-educated woman doesn’t know something about self-respect? But when you’re me, circa 2007, and you are in your second serious relationship, admitting there is something wrong is impossible. Confronting a man about things that need to change isn’t going to happen. I never truly felt comfortable around Frank. I held my tongue when he was out of town for my birthday. I didn’t complain when he didn’t call, or when he chose others over me. I didn’t consider that his age and history might indicate he was a bachelor-for-life. So there went a year of mine, all because of denial.

-When a man says he loves you after three weeks, it’s probably not true.
Another duh. And it might be true in your case. But for most of us, fairy tales should stay on a bookshelf and not applied to real life. When Darren told me after such a short period that he loved me, I should have told Prince Charming to get a grip. That way it would not have been such a shock when, two months later, it turned out he didn’t love me after all.

-A rebound relationship can be a good thing.
Darren was my rebound after Frank. My fragile heart made a poor choice. He wasn’t my type at all, and many of his attributes would have raised a red flag had I been sane. But, looking back on it, he helped me get over Frank faster. And when we ended our short, crazy thing, I didn’t have much feeling left. Sounds odd, but it meant I moved on faster, started this blog and began living my awesome life.

-Friendship takes some work.
Technology is a wonderful thing. But having 392 Facebook friends or 286 phone numbers doesn’t mean you’re any closer to other human beings on this planet. Our lives are all busy, with work, families, boyfriends, girlfriends, activities. But life is short, and when it comes to keeping up with the people who mean something to you, once in awhile, you’ve got to find 15 minutes for that phone call, and spent 10 working with your google calendars to squeeze in some girl time. Because when the shit hits the fan and the boyfriend is out of town, who is going to be there?

-Painful lessons are a good thing. All of this living meant learning. Without it, maybe I would not have realized last spring that I had the possibility of real, true love right under my nose. I had dismissed the idea of dating my friend Kevin, but through this blog, some soul searching and some thoughts on my lessons, I realized that it was worth it. Now, nine months later, we’re living together in domestic bliss. We still haven’t had a fight, but it’s not because I’m holding my tongue. I just made a smart choice this time.

So thanks, blog, for teaching me a thing or two about relationships. Any chance you can help me figure out my career? Oh well.


Another case of how technology has changed dating.

Gone are the days of crying to your girlfriend in a bathroom. Now you can just google to figure stuff out about your girlfriend/boyfriend.

Check out these examples from Boing Boing.

By the way, guys, if you’re trying to figure out how to get your girlfriend to give you more head, maybe you should try asking. Just an idea.

I keep sharing random facts on twitter, but this time I thought I’d just post it to my blog:

Random Facts about Dating

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