“Hey, what’s your name?”
“Really? That’s my mom’s name.”
Kevin has been doing this lately. He got that winning line from “I Love You, Man,” and has used it to replace the old “You come here often?”
Since he’s the classical Shy Guy, he wasn’t exactly a Cassanova flirter even when we first started dating. But his flirtatiousness was sweet and sincere, full of smiles and looks and little touches.
Worked for me then, works for me now. I have no complaints. I’ll start complaining when he stops the little touches when I walk by, the jokes about feeling me up. I think it keeps our relationship healthy.
Of course, flirting when you’re dating someone is a different dance than his moves now that we live together. Before we started dating, when we were just friends, we used to send each other text messages. Not sexting, but definitely flirty, with references to sex and chewing on ice cubes — akin to peeling the label off your beer bottle. I realized I liked him when I starting trying to touch him all the time, and teased him third-grade style by sticking my tongue out at him.
A girl I know just went on a so-so first date. She and the guy had some things in common and conversation was ok. But he was too nice, she said.
Ah, poor schmuck. Once you’re “too nice,” you’re screwed. At first, I thought she meant “too eager,” oozing desperation like bad cologne. But she said that wasn’t it.
“I guess it’s because he didn’t really flirt with me at all. He brought me flowers, paid for dinner. He was very sweet,” she said. “But come on! We’re on a date; let me know you’re interested.”
See guys? A little reference to the fact that you’d like to see us naked is not a bad thing. Just as long as it isn’t: “Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I see myself in your pants.”
Once I had a guy just come up to me and tell me I was hot and he’d like to talk to me for awhile. You get bonus points for directness, as long as it’s not too cocky. So sure, I talked with him. He turned out to be a jerk though, so he didn’t score a phone number (or anything else).
But when it comes down to it, I prefer the sweet things Kevin says, even if they’re cheesy. Like the best one of all:
Me: Whatever. You’re not going to miss me, it’s fine. [sarcasm]
Kevin: Sure I will. I blink my eyes and I miss you.
What are your favorite flirty moves? What’s the worst line you’ve ever heard?