I stared at the ceiling, feeling sort of like I was at the gynecologist. We chatted about the weather.

“Ok. Now pull on your skin right here.”

I followed her orders, tensed my muscles and held my breath.


And that, ladies and gentlemen,  is the sound of a Brazilian bikini wax. I had my first such experience Monday, and while I can’t claim I’d prefer the gyno, it’s a really tough call. Especially after she asked me to turn over to “do the rear.”

“Do you ever get grossed out doing this?” I asked, as I lay facedown on the table.

“No,” she said. “I’m also an X-ray tech and basically, I’ve seen it all.”

Not to TMI you to death, but typically I get a waxing once in awhile and shave most of the rest. Waxes are not cheap, and generally I don’t have a ton of money. But as I experienced the “take it all but the patch” for the first time, it occurred to me that guys really do have it easy.

I know a guy who let his girlfriend wax his back. Now THERE’S a guy who goes above and beyond the call of duty and gets a gold star for the year. Sure, wax it, but get a professional, right?

His wasn’t even so bad — just a bit thick in certain spots. Not the rugs you see on some guys’ shoulders that leave you thinking, “Oh yeah, I need to pick up brillo pads when I go to the store later.”

If my guy Kevin was a brillo pad, I would require him to wax it. Because hey, if I’m willing to get some very sensitive spots yanked to go (almost) bald in the name of beauty, frankly, I’d prefer no hair there when it comes to his back.

I don’t think that’s too much to ask, do you?