The whole bed was shaking.

Bow chicka wow wow. sex_01_tns

Except I was lying on a bunk bed in France. And apparently two of the people in the hostel room were getting it on below me. The shaking woke me up. They weren’t too loud, but the bed jimmied and shimmied and moved with their love.

I was annoyed. It’s the middle of the freakin’ night and I had been dead asleep, exhausted after a day of walking around Nice. Plus, I was going through what turned out to be a two-year dry spell.

Talk about rude sex.

The other day a different mattress was moving. And squeaking. Except this time it was mine. And I wondered: could my roommate hear it?

I hope not.

In general I try not to be rude like that. No one wants to have to sit there and suffer, listening to it. AWWK-WARD.

Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

Have you ever had rude sex? Or been the unfortunate victim of someone else’s?