calendar“Hey coworker, can you switch shifts with me next Wednesday? I need to be done early to make it to an event.”

“Um…let me check with the boss,” he said, with a smile. “And I don’t mean ours.”

He was referring to his fiancée. It was the second time recently that I’d heard someone refer to his/her significant other as “the boss.”

Is that how it is when you’re in the engaged/married/nearly engaged relationship? Do you have to ask permission to go out?

The other day I was smurfin’ it (as usual) with my usual crew at Flying Saucer. One of our friends ribbed my boyfriend, Kevin, and called him a wuss.

“You can see who wears the pants in your relationship,” he said.

I don’t think of my relationship with Kevin as having a leader. We’re a team. One of the things I love about him is that we’re both big planners.

But I don’t say to him, “Kevin, I’m thinking of going out with my girls on Friday night. Is that ok?” I say, “Kevin, I’m going out with the girls Friday, but I’ll see you later.”

We don’t live together (yet), so is that the deciding factor? If we cohabitate does one of us become the CEO?

My brother once admitted that his wife is the one in charge. I guess really it comes down to roles. Women typically keep track of the dates. We’re the ones who know that your brother’s girlfriend’s birthday is coming up.

Maybe “the boss” is the simply one who keeps the couple calendar.

Still, I don’t want to be Kevin’s boss, and I don’t want him to be mine. Good thing we have a shared Google calendar.