When she started tearing up in the meeting with our boss, I wanted to roll my eyes, yell at her and tell her she wasn’t doing herself any favors.
Crying in the workplace is a BIG no-no.
Most women are aware of this, except perhaps my coworker. Maybe she couldn’t help it as she explained that we just aren’t appreciated. But I detected a slight sarcastic undertone in our female manager’s response as she assured my coworker that yes, we are appreciated. This is the manager who has said multiple times that she is not our mother.
“I wanted to cry, but…”
Recently, I have either said that phrase or heard it from another woman. Usually, it’s something about work, but when I wanted to cry it was in front of my doctor after he told me I needed a scary-sounding procedure.
But I refused to cry in front of him. Later, I wondered why. He’s a doctor. Why not cry in front of him? Who cares if he thinks I’m weak? Isn’t he supposed to have some bedside manners? It got me thinking about women and crying.
Studies say women don’t cry because we don’t want to be seen as too feminine. Studies also show that women aren’t taken as seriously as men when crying. And women have been fighting too long to be taken seriously to throw it away for the satisfying rush of tears falling down our cheeks.
In truth, it’s how we let feelings out — whether it be sadness, anger or even happiness. (Yes men, we can be a little nuts sometimes, but hormones are uncontrollable ok?)
So, just out of curiosity, when was the last time you cried? When was a time you cried and shouldn’t have?