I’m more of a rip off the fuckin’ Band-Aid and get it over with kinda girl.tool_tool_114882_tns

Getting dumped really sucks. Um, big duh. There’s the major dent in your ego, trying to sever the attachment you have to that person. And there’s the part where you try to figure out your life all over again.

For me,  it’s worse when it’s dragged out. So I kept telling my friend Richard to just dump his long-distance girl already. He was being a tool, because he realized it wasn’t going to work, but didn’t want to confront it. Two guys have done this dance with me and I hate it. I don’t need weeks of drama and “I’m depressed, but it’s not you.”

Richard and his girl Francine were what I call the “quick-strike match” relationship. I just had one of those. You start off really hot, fiery and everything is oh-so-incredibly perfect. The feelings for this person swirl around inside you and bust out of your skin. Yeah, that’s called endorphins. Problem is, they start to wear off and then you get to know the person. Within two months, the flame has burned out, and you’re left with nothing but a burnt stick and a broken heart.

He didn’t want to end it on the phone, but she lives in Boston, so what else can you do? Plus, they only really had time to talk once a week.

He waited around and sure enough, she finally broke up with him. (Smart girl.) Except now, she’s the tool. He agreed that breaking it off was a good idea.

I guess she was trying it as a stunt, thinking he’d wake up and act like a better man. So now, she’s withdrawn her disposal proposal and continues to call and text him. He had briefly considered moving there to be with her. Now, she’s sending him e-mails with information about two-bedroom junk apartments for $1,175. This is compared to his $700 mortgage in the Raleigh area.

Yes, being dumped sucks, but let’s not lose our dignity and come off as the desperate girl. Sorry, Francine, but you’re the “Tool of the Week” this time.

I got a box of cool freebies for singles in the mail and I’m going to give them away to you! I’m putting together two gift bags, each with a set of “Tea for One” teas, cool dating cards (“get to know each other better with forty engaging questions guarenteed to enlighten as well as entertain”) and more. I’ll even mail it to you! To win, just email me your TRUE “Tool of the Week” story to singlesuzanne@gmail.com.