Unfortunately, my story does not translate into a disaster-ridden comedy starring Ben Stiller that will make millions of dollars.

Damn. Er, I mean, whew!

090606_parentsKevin and I hit a big milestone in the past few weeks. Or at least, what I usually would consider a big      milestone. We’ve been dating for just about two months. Who even thinks about meeting each other’s parents at that stage? Hell, normally I’m still deciding if I even like the guy.

Kevin is different. We’re different. And our parental meetings this week were different. To him, it’s not a big official deal, as in, “This is my serious girlfriend, whom I may marry.” It was more, “We’re here and you’re here so I guess we’re going to meet.”

For the record, my parents have only met one other boyfriend in my 28 years of dating. Before the past few years, I rarely had boyfriends. The other factor is geography. My parents and I have lived in different states since 2004, so it’s never been convenient for them to meet the men in my life.

I think it works out for the best. It saves me the trouble of displaying every ill-fitting pair of jeans I might slide into for a month just for the hell of it.

Kevin seems to be fitting pretty well though, so secretly, I was anxious and exited to see how it went. Would we pass each other’s “parent test”?

First up, his folks. I’ve met a few parents before and being the adorable creature I am, it usually goes well.

This time, Kevin and I, along with a loquacious friend of ours, headed for the Carolina coast for a little daytrip sun fun. Kevin’s parents own a beach house, so we parked the car there before parking our towels on a plot of sand.

Such a setting obviously denotes a more casual meeting. But I was still nervous. We didn’t see them all day – they were lounging on another section of beach. In the evening we stopped by the house to chill for a bit before our return drive. And there they were, along with two of their friends.

And…nothing. Very anticlimactic. I got to scope them out, noting Kevin’s likeness to his mom in most ways, the dent in his lower lip and a few other features taken from his dad. Our friend did most of the talking, and then we headed out.

His mom reported on the phone the next day that she thought I was “pretty” and that she wanted to talk to me more because our friend was “talkative.”

Sweet. I guess I passed!

He said he wasn’t nervous about meeting my parents, but of course I don’t believe that. My parents live in Georgia, but they’d planned a trip to the Biltmore. They bought me a ticket so I could meet them for the day. Kevin had never been, so they bought him a ticket and it was settled for Sunday.

My parents are very cool, but they’d drug along some less-than-cool relations from Ohio, which is the part that worried me. I didn’t want him to run screaming away from the conservative aunt and uncle or the cantankerous, chain-smoking grandmother.

But handshakes all around, and relatives on their best behavior, as if they were going to get a treat at the end of the day for being nice to Suzanne’s boyfriend. (Maybe my sympathetic dad used such tactics; I wouldn’t put it past him.)

We toured the Biltmore grounds on a bus with them, and they only quizzed him about the basics. He and I did the

Biltmore Estate

Biltmore Estate

audio tour of the house alone and then met them at the winery restaurant for dinner. Dad, being the cool dad he is, paid for our lunch and dinner and asked him a few easy conversational questions over our meal. They all got along amazingly well.

I haven’t heard my parents’ report on him yet, but he gets an A for the day in my book.

*shrugs* So that was easy. I almost wish it was a best-selling comedy.

Almost.

Anyone out there have any great meet-the-parents stories?

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