Dear Shy Guy:

I saw you there Saturday night, sitting on the edge of a group of people. They were all laughing, talking, smiling. Their joy lit up the night.

You were silent. You were the dark shadow in the corner, chatting only with your two friends, even though this was a chance to make some new ones. You’re new in town and you don’t have many. You’re single and looking for a girl.

Sweet, nice, polite. In some ways you’re the guy who would make a good boyfriend, the one who would show up with flowers, that opens doors and would remember to call. You may not dance, but you’ll listen to a girl.

Yes, it is a group of strangers, but you’re in your mid-20s. You should be able to approach people – especially people who know a friend of yours – and introduce yourself.

Women like to see some slice of manhood within a guy, some confidence. We’re not looking for a line. Something like, “Hello, how do you know Suzanne?” is a good start.

I know you’re slightly awkward. Girls may not always agree with your thoughts. But maybe you should think about that and be open to change and new ideas.

Maybe you’ve tried before and been shot down. But you must try, try again. You’re not going to get any better at talking if you don’t practice.

You’re not a tool. But you are a fool for letting these chances pass you by.