Who is more toolish, the tool or the tool who follows him?
I passed along this wisdom from Star Wars to help a friend of mine yesterday. For those less geeky than I, Obi Wan poses this sage question to Luke in “Star Wars,” but he uses the word “fool.”
A friend of mine, Mel, is interested in her male friend. They’ve been buddies for a long time. He keeps sending out mixed signals. When they go out and drink together, they both hang on each other, hold hands, etc. He asks her out to dinner, movies, events.
They’ve discussed being more than friends and he’s doing a “maybe” dance. Life and work and whatever is keeping him too busy. (Sounds like a HJNTIY moment.) Lately, he’s been untagging pictures of her on Facebook. He claims it’s just because the photos are bad.
“But I don’t think I believe him,” she told me. “And he’s just immature enough that I think there might be a reason for it.”
So naturally, we assume he’s a tool (or fool) for:
1. not realizing just how awesome she is
2. not being able to man up and give her the straight answer of “nope, not interested.”
But Mel wonders if maybe she’s the true tool of this tale.
“I’m trying to walk away from that whole mess, but I keep getting pulled back in,” she said. “[The Facebook thing] just annoys me because it’s indicative of the bigger problems… being his immaturity, his total inability to commit to anything regarding me, and the fact that I don’t trust him.”
That’s when I busted out my Star Wars wisdom.
“In that case you’re a bit of the tool for worrying about it,” I said. “He’s obviously not worth your time.”
“I’m starting to realize that…but just when I get ready to blow up at him… or do the ‘slow fade’ and end it…he shows up and does something awesome or I’m just dumb and give in,” Mel said. “So there’s the question… who’s more of a tool… him or me?”
Sorry, Mel, but I’m going with Star Wars on this one. Pining after a hammer just means you’re a nail.