May 2009


It’s always strange to run into or communicate with someone with whom you went out on a sort-of date, but rejected.

Recently I received an electronic communication from my non-date date that occurred back in January, when I was really fresh from my last breakup. He and I were twitter friends, so I figured why not add him to my LinkedIn profile? Especially since our encounter was a non-date.

Here was his response, which I assume is tongue-in-cheek:

“I don’t normally link up with just anyone on this site, but since you are so insanely beautiful I figured I had better. What’s new with you? I hope you’re doing well and thinking of me. ❤ ❤ <3.”

It’s good to be loved, I guess. And who couldn’t use a compliment?

Have you ever had any strange experiences with non-exes?

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I loved the board game as a kid. According to the rules, “If the pawn lands on a picture square at the bottom of a ladder, children climb up with a good deed! Naughty deeds slide you back when you land on a picture square at the top of a chute!”

The other day I was driving down Glenwood Avenue on my way home and I saw my buddy Pete, licking an ice cream cone and meandering down the sidewalk with a girl.

Not just any girl – a girl he’d dumped a few weeks ago.090526_slide

I sent him a text message: “Both the girl and the ice cream look delish.”

His response: “WTF? Are you high?”

Ha – no, are you? I posed that query a few days later over drinks and tapas at Oliver Twist.

He starts by asking me a question, “When you and Frank broke up, did you stay in contact?”

“No,” I said. “I have not seen or heard from him since we broke up. Is that what this is about? You’re still in touch with her?”

Affirmative. She was in town for Artplosure and they agreed to get together. So when I saw him strolling along, he was actually taking a backslide.

“Pete – what is this, an easy piece?” I asked. “Getting laid without increasing your number?” (more…)

tool_tool_114882_tnsFirst God created man, then he created woman. The he created dating, and woman got really frustrated with the whole process.

Enter Believing Beth, stage right, on a date with this week’s featured candidate: Atheist Andy.

She met AA on Match.com and things seemed right. Phone conversations went well and next thing you know, she and this “Hottie” are on a four-hour marathon date. Conversation is flowing and just when she thinks maybe there’s a chance for a second date – WHAM! His toolishness smacks her like a hammer dropped on her toes.

We meet our characters three hours and 30 minutes into the date. The candles are lit, the restaurant is full of amicable chatter and the couple is smiling at each other from across the table. Then AA finds out that BB believes in God.

Curtain and cue.

AA: You believe in God?  Seriously? That’s ridiculous. There is no God.
BB: Well, that’s not what I believe.
AA: But you seem like such a smart girl. It’s stupid to believe in God.

End Scene.

Setting: Next day, in an e-mail box …

Dear BB: Thanks for the great date, but I just don’t think we are a great match.
Signed, AA

Her reaction, though she did not reply: Thanks for letting me down easy bud, LIKE I was ever going to talk to you again.

Moral of the story: don’t discuss religion on a date. Yes, it’s a job interview and you want to find out the bad stuff as soon as possible. Clearly AA did not find BB suitable for the job of girlfriend or eventual wife. But sometimes it’s better to leave the super sensitive questions for the second interview. And if you’re going to discuss it, “I disagree” is a better approach than “You’re stupid.” (more…)

POW! The starting gun goes off, and hundreds of women wearing running skirts dash from the starting line. Behind them, guys pile in together, jogging in place on their toes, ready for their turn.

Three minutes later – POW! The gun goes off again and this time the men begin their run.

It sounds a little archaic, but it’s all in good fun. The Skirt Chaser 5K came to Raleigh Saturday.

Apparently, it’s one way to meet singles, because after the race was over, participants could hang out in a big tent by Hibernian and mingle. Singles were given a sticker to wear on their shorts, denoting interest in flirtation.

So there you go, ladies, run a 5K and then meet up with someone afterward.

I’m not sure sweaty and tired is the best time to drink a beer and meet a cute guy, but whatever moves you.

090520_police_officer_133544_tns

Citation Issued To: Suzanne Woodstock
Violation: Breaking New Relationship Rules No. 3 and 4
Civil Penalty: Living With Your Actions
Details of Violation: Suzanne was lying around with her three-week boyfriend, having one of those awesome new relationship pillow-talk-type conversations about everything random under the sun. Within the span of a few minutes, she dropped both recent ex’s names, violating new relationship rule No. 4. Rule No. 3 was violated at the same time when they discussed how things were going so far in their relationship.

Yes, your honor. I did it. I admit guilt. Is “major FAIL” a suitable defense?

One of the great things about dating your best guy friend is that he knows a lot about you.

One of the hazards of dating your best guy friend is that he knows a lot about you. (more…)

Some tools are as hard to get rid of as a computer virus. tool_tool_114882_tns

Like this guy, a BadPenny Tool, the one that always turns up.

This saga began last March 2008 and took my friend Mustang Sally more than one year to eradicate from her life.

The Shiny Penny Shows Up
It started as some harmless flirting at work. A smile here, some teasing there. Apparently, we don’t know our coworkers as well as we might think.

One night, BP came over to watch a move he and MS had discussed. We all know what “watching a movie” means in boy-girl code. Sure enough, the two ended up making out and then continued to “hang out” a few times a week.

MS: And at first he called a couple times… but then it was just Facebook messages, which is also incredibly toolish.

She confessed she thought it might actually go somewhere. But things remained casual until she forced a talk.

MS: And I don’t even remember how that went, except that we were going to keep things as is. His schedule was so weird, too. And so was mine… which is why we never did anything on the weekends, or weeknights… or in public at all, really. Plus we didn’t want anybody at work to know. I didn’t want people to think I was “that girl,” especially if it ended up never being a relationship.

The Penny Gets Dirty
So this hanging out thing continues through May, but tapers off as MS gets frustrated with his alcoholism, pot-smoking and lack of commitment. But she still sometimes sees him. And one night, before a planned group social event, she spends the night with him.

The next night, they meet out at that event and he goes home with another girl.

In most cases, MS would be kicking this penny to the curb. Let some other fool see the shiny Lincoln head and pick it up, hoping for good luck. But he kept calling, texting, FB messaging.

By beginning of July, BadPenny and MS start up again. MS said she didn’t even like him very much and his alcoholism and pot smoking were a bit much.

MS: But I was in my party girl phase. The secrecy was the best part – kinda fun, I guess. We watched movies, got ridiculously drunk, and I stayed over. That was pretty much it.

MS got wise soon after, feeling bad about the “relationship” and about her drinking and partying. Time to get it together. She told the story to a friend who also knows BadPenny.

MS: “And she’s all ‘uhhh he told me he just had a one-night stand with some chick in Greenville last weekend.’”

MS gave BadPenny a piece of her mind after that. Three cheers for women taking control!

FAIL.

MS: “And he swore up and down that it only happened once and he was black-out drunk and doesn’t remember and he was going to tell me the next time he saw me alone. And I fell for it. Yay me.”

She kicked the Bad Penny to the curb for good after he treated her like shit during another social outing. She got very drunk and he wouldn’t give her a ride home. Next thing you know, she’s drunkenly bawling.

Nothing like a good un-classy moment like that to knock some sense into you, right?

Right. (more…)

Let’s talk about sex, baby, let’s talk about you and me…

Yikes – I hate that song. But legislators are talking about it big time right now because the North Carolina General Assembly is considering a bill that would allow parents to choose what type of sex education their children receive — an abstinence-only education or a comprehensive class with information about birth control options.

An article on the bill from the Wilmington Star-News

Students whose parents do not make a choice would not receive instruction in either curriculum. Right now,  school boards decide which curriculum to teach.

I hope this passes. Whether you want your kids to wait or to know how to use a condom doesn’t matter — the important thing is that this would allow parents to choose what’s best for their children.

Read Full Text of Bill

Looks like the bill is stuck in the Senate, so it may not make it anywhere this year.

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