Remember James? He was one of the three guys I was seeing for a couple of weeks. Well, a friend of mine went on a date with him last weekend, which I find completely amusing.

She wasn’t so amused. She didn’t want to go on the date, but felt badly because he’s fairly new in town. So she went. He picked her up and whisked her away to Lynnwood Grill – her suggestion because she wanted to go someplace that’s not too “datey.”

“It was mostly fine,” she reported to me. “I mean, I can be friends with the guy and conversation was ok. But eh.”

(Translation = she doesn’t find him hot.)

“Plus he was just … so overconfident.”

“How?” I asked.

“He insisted on opening my car door. I mean, it’s cool when they open doors for you, but the car door, it’s just kind of annoying. And we ordered a pitcher of beer, and he served me. And then we ordered a large pizza and he served me again!”

Overconfident is probably not the right word, but apparently in her book, too much chivalry is a bad thing.

“Maybe he’s just trying to be a gentleman and impress you,” I suggested.

“Yeah, ok, so fine,” she said, explaining that she’s just not into him like that anyway. “But then he walked me to the door at the end of the night and I invited him to meet my cat because we’d talked about it. And then he’s just standing there and I was like, ‘ok goodnight’ and closed the door.”

But the date wasn’t over in James’ mind. My friend heard a knock a few moments later. She answered and he stood there.

“I couldn’t leave without doing this,” he said, and leaned in for a kiss.

Wow, sounds just so adorable, hot, romantic, like from a movie, right?

Um, in real life those moments don’t always work. Guys: If she shut the door on you without a kiss, then she probably doesn’t want one. My friend kissed him and it was “fine, but I kept my mouth closed and pulled away quickly.”

I told her she shouldn’t have let him kiss her. But we women feel badly about being rude (hence my ‘Terrible, No Good’ experience earlier this year) so we go through with something.

Guys might take away from this that women are confusing and they’re just screwed no matter what they do. But I’ve gotten to know James a bit since we agreed to be only friends. He doesn’t have a lot of dating experience, and I think he was nervous and trying too hard. So the lesson here, men, is to just be you.

She doesn’t want to see him again and isn’t looking forward to the awkward conversation.

I have yet to find out how the date went from his perspective, but I’m curious. Did he pick up on her disinterest during dinner conversation? Notice her reluctance during his Romeo Returns moment? Stay tuned …

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