A fourth gentleman threw his name into my dating hat last week.
“Pete” is a friend of mine. He is also dating three other people and he reads my blog, so we have great conversations about the psychology and sociology of the dating and mating process. I knew he had a minor crush on me, but I was taken aback when he said he’d like to take me out on a date. More on him later.
Meanwhile, having this pool of candidates has me thinking. This L.A. Times story talks about how too many choices can tax the brain. Studies have shown that people with more options are usually less happy. The article refers to consumerism, but I wonder if the same concept applies to dating.
In general, we’re a dichotomous society. We like two choices, column A or column B, door No. 1 and door No. 2. It’s easy to choose between two things; you can usually pick the better one, or the one you prefer. But add more choices and you start to wonder … did I pick the right one?
I feel empowered (and flattered) to have choices. But at what point does that power begin to hinder my search for The Real Deal? It is too hard to figure out what’s right when there are tempting choices all around?
I had second and some third dates with each of my bachelors last week. Details to follow on that. Last week, I was enjoying the freedom of dating more than one guy. I could have my cake and eat it, too. But as I socialize my little heart out, I’m starting to wonder if all these choices, all these decisions to make are really all that fun.
I feel as though there is pressure to eliminate, to narrow the field. I suppose as long as each man was ok with me dating other people, I could keep casually going out with them, stealing the occasional kiss. But it’s not my style. The pressure to eliminate comes from within. It’s an interesting psychology.
Do you think choice fatigue applies to dating?