A male friend of mine recently met a girl, got her number, called her up and asked her out. They had drinks last week and from his perspective, it went very well. Great conversation and plenty in common — plus she is cute. 

Wow – it all seems so easy. But not so fast.

At the end of the evening, he suggested dinner Saturday. She agreed. He called a day later and left a voice mail. She never called back.

I say, she’s just not that into him. Women can be just flaky as men, right? He maintains that she said she’s not a great communicator and could just be stressed and very busy. He’s thinks she will call, but not right away.

Say what? Sounds like something I just read in “He’s Just Not That Into You” except it was a woman giving excuses about the guy.

So I tell him, “Maybe she’s just not that into you. If she told you ahead of time she’s bad at communicating, then that might be her setup to give herself an excuse.”He says he can’t be so cynical about dating.

“I can either be cynical, and read a lot of stuff into everything, or I can take things at face value and see how it works out. She seems like a very genuine person.”

He says he knows plenty of grad students who get very overwhelmed and busy and simply do not have time to call. Independent people have a lot going on, he said, and we can’t always apply old rules to situations.

“Everyone’s trying to read a lot into everything. He/She did/didn’t do X, therefore Y. And a lot of the time, that stuff is true. But a lot of the time it isn’t. So the trick is to stop trying to come to conclusions before you have much information.”

I guess at this point, I’m just sick of the games. I’m a glass-is-half-full sorta gal. She MIGHT call. Maybe she’s not like those of us who want you to call within a few days. If a guy didn’t call me until a week after our date, I would assume he’s not that interested; I mean, how hard is it really to pick up a cell phone?

I say he’s overanalyzing. He says I’m underanalyzing. What do you think?

Advertisements