I don’t know why my stomach was in knots, but there it was twisting a little as I sat in my car before my date. If it kept up, I could probably scare him off with gas when he got too close.

I was meeting Cody, the Facebook date, and I was a little early. As aforementioned, I wasn’t too sure that I’m that into him.

For starters, he’s 10 years older than I am. My ex, Frank, was 11 years older than I, so it’s not as though I haven’t tried the age gap. And “frankly,” I never noticed the difference – until the subject of marriage came up. Frank wasn’t into it, or kids, so that was that. And really, if you’re an almost-40-year-old male and unmarried, what’s up with that?

In addition, he doesn’t drink. I’m not trying to judge, but hey, we’re all looking for someone we can connect with. I’m thinking drinking just might be one of dealbreakers.

Not that I’m an alcoholic, but even my family enjoys wine and the occasional pool-side margarita. I want the man I marry to enjoy an afternoon cocktail with me once in awhile.

He received points for suggesting dinner at Lilly’s pizza, which most Raleighites know is just yummy. Once I sat down at a table I felt in control. It was just a date. We’d sit, talk, eat and it would be fine.

It was. He walked in and over to the table. He was cuter than I remembered. But in addition to not having knots, I also had no butterflies.

It was awkward standing at the counter together, trying to choose pizza toppings. He did get points for liking artichokes.

We sat down at a table and waited for our order. I watched him as he spoke and thought about him, the way we all judge people while on a first date. Cute? Sure. But I wasn’t THAT excited. We have some things in common and some of his interests appeal to me.

But it just wasn’t there.

Maybe I’m just not ready to date. Is that possible? I always figured that was crap – if the right guy comes along, it doesn’t matter if you just broke up with someone else last week.

I’m LOVING my life right now. I’m spending too much money on food and alcohol, but I’m having fun. I’m trying new things. I’m focused on me, myself and I, not my boyfriend and his schedule and when we can hang out next.

I’m glad I went out with Cody. Don’t know until you try. But without butterflies, why bother?

Too bad my stomach didn’t knot up some more; I could’ve scared him away. Instead, he wrote me a cute FB message. Now, I’ve got to figure out what to say in response.

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