February 2009


So you want cynical? I picked up the phone Thursday night to call Bachelor No. 1 from speed dating. Let’s call him Craig, just for kicks. telephone_cell_111086_tns

I wasn’t even nervous about it, which is probably a bad sign. Don’t you want to be excited about these things?

You only get five minutes with each “date” for speed dating. So here’s what I knew about him prior to the call:

  • moved to the Triangle in November from Ohio
  • reads books
  • works as an engineer

Here’s what I got from the phone call:

  • lives in Cary
  • visits his family in Ohio fairly often – about every six weeks
  • says “mmm-hmmm” a lot in a strange tone of voice, especially right before it’s his turn to speak
  • loves talking about the weather
  • takes a kickboxing class
  • wants to take me out on a date next week

Cynicism aside, it wasn’t a bad conversation. I enjoyed it at first. We chatted about our jobs. He got bonus points for inquiring with some detail about what I do and why.

But the weather? Really? For 10 minutes? Rain, snow? It’s like my 80-year-old grandmother, who lives in Ohio and watches the Weather Channel 24-7. She will sometimes call to let me know a storm is heading my way. Adorable when she does it; not so cool on a “first phone call” situation.

Maybe it’s the whole speed dating thing. You sign up, it churns our results.  Suddenly the dating adventure turns into a business venture. Where’s the excitement of meeting someone new? Where are the butterflies?

He said he’d call me next week to set up our date. Assuming he does call – and hey, I’m hot so of course he will – then I’ll go check it out.

Because I’m not a cynic just yet. I promise.

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Saw this on Word Spy:

niche dating
pp. Dating people based on a single characteristic, or on a very limited set of characteristics.
—niche-dating, adj.
—niche dater, n.

My first thought is those who attend Star Trek conventions. That’s definitely a niche! :o)

Score one for Team Suzanne! Out of the four “yeses” I circled at speed dating last weekend, I got three matches.

I now posses their email addresses. But staying true to “He’s Just Not That Into You,” I decided to wait until they emailed me.

Lo and behold! All three have sent me emails.

I’m already disappointed. The one I thought was most interesting sent me an email and asked about my schedule. I replied with a few questions and said “tell me more about yourself.”

He has replied. Both his emails are in all caps, which I find irritating. And at the end he wrote, “Ok honey, talk to you later.”

Um, what? Meh.

The other two were more normal, with “It was good to meet you” type stuff. One suggested getting together for “something simple” so we could get to know each other better. Now that, I like. I mean, really, five minutes doesn’t tell you much about a person.

I’ll keep you posted on the progress, but so far, I find it amusing that it’s so easy to judge – and we’re all so quick to judge the little things — even people’s writing styles. I know one girl who wouldn’t go out with a guy because he could spell “your” and “you’re” correctly.

Maybe there is something to that …

A male friend of mine recently met a girl, got her number, called her up and asked her out. They had drinks last week and from his perspective, it went very well. Great conversation and plenty in common — plus she is cute. 

Wow – it all seems so easy. But not so fast.

At the end of the evening, he suggested dinner Saturday. She agreed. He called a day later and left a voice mail. She never called back.

I say, she’s just not that into him. Women can be just flaky as men, right? He maintains that she said she’s not a great communicator and could just be stressed and very busy. He’s thinks she will call, but not right away.

Say what? Sounds like something I just read in “He’s Just Not That Into You” except it was a woman giving excuses about the guy.

So I tell him, “Maybe she’s just not that into you. If she told you ahead of time she’s bad at communicating, then that might be her setup to give herself an excuse.” (more…)

090223_date

Five minutes never seemed so long. The 20-something music teacher could play several instruments, but he couldn’t string two sentences together.

DING! Time was up. I smiled politely and shook his limp hand, relieved that he was moving on to girl No. 6.

Saturday I undertook the adventure of speed dating.

I’ve heard a lot of horror stories, so I went into this with low expectations. A girl I know returned from speed dating with stories of men who had real mental difficulties, only a few teeth and other traits tempting to the young, professional female.

I’d tried speed dating before, right after I moved to Raleigh. Both times, I used Dateswitch.com.

Last time, I had 22 five-minute dates in two hours. By the end of the night, I was sick of sharing the same information about myself: job, how long I’ve been in Raleigh, hobbies. It’s the same three questions.

Some of those 22 were odd. I swear, one was making stuff up. “Porn star,” he told me about his job. He told another girl he was a rock star. It’s his $35 I guess, so as long as he got what he wanted out of it.

For the uninitiated, when you speed date, you circle “yes” or “no” by the name of each gentleman. You turn your sheets in at the end of the night. Later, you get an e-mail with the contact information of your matches. I circled “yes” on my sheet for two guys. (more…)

A male friend of mine perused my blog the other day and commented that it seems like all I think about is being single.

Um, duh — it’s a blog about single life in Raleigh. That’s not all I think about, but it’s what I blog about.

That got me thinking though, especially since I read “He’s Just Not That Into You” this week. When I finished, I felt as though authors Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo needed to add a chapter reminding women to go out and enjoy life, single or not.

Yes, we love men; we want one for our very own. But hey, when single, we should be out there living it up, loving life, exploring our hobbies, working toward our brilliant careers, not sitting around pining and wondering where we went wrong in our last relationship.

We often feel as though being single is like having a disease. Especially when your grandmother, who was married by 20, asks why you are still single at 27. Or when your 23-year-old cousin sends you a notice that she’s having her second child with her husband. But wtf? (more…)

There’s an upcoming bachelor auction and it’s for a good cause!

Check this out — The Women’s Center of Wake County is having its 5th Annual Bachelor Bid for Charity presented by The Wild & Wacky Wonderful Women of the World, a Triangle-based not-for-profit networking group for women ages 21-101.

They’ve dubbed it “The A Knight to Remember; A Medieval Affaire” and it takes place Saturday, Feb. 28 from 7 p.m. – 1 a.m. in the grand ballroom of the Raleigh City Center Marriott.

If you go: Tickets are $35 in advance and $50 at the door with 100 percent of the proceeds benefiting the Wake County Women’s Center.

Apparently we get to bid on bachelors, take part in a silent auction, scope out a “bachelor playground,” — whatever THAT is — and participate in speed dating.

Tickets: www.bachelorbidforcharity.com or at the following Raleigh merchants: City Gate Real Estate, Quail Ridge Books Abbeygail’s Closet and Unique Expressions.

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