I was so anxious I couldn’t even eat my dinner. My stomach was in knots. And I hadn’t even seen him yet.

I ran into Darren at a party last night. The event was hosted by mutual friends, and I suspected he might be there, hence my nervousness. I had not seen him since our breakup. Although I’ve felt solid about my single status these past few weeks, I am still the dumpee in this scenario, so forgive my moment of pathetic weakness.

I walked into the room — late, thanks to work — looking my best. There were more than 100 people at the party, so I didn’t see him at first. I mingled, I said hello to people I know. I talked to many men, including Adam, a mutual friend between Darren and I. Adam told me I looked fabulous, and later gave me the heads up about Darren’s presence at the party. And soon, there he was, standing near me.

I lifted my chin in a “hello.” He apparently didn’t think this was enough of a greeting, so I said, “Hello, how are you.” And then I went on my way.

I wasn’t shattered to see him, but I was glad he now stood behind me, so I could take a few deep breaths and slow my pounding heart. I ignored him the rest of the night, not even spying on him from afar. I’m proud of myself for that.

I won. Not that there’s a competition, but when it comes to our ex-boyfriends, who doesn’t want to come off the better, hotter and cooler person in a social situation?

Lest you think me shallow, I will say that I have not trash talked him since our breakup. I’ve been very reserved when it comes to dissing him, despite his disrespectful treatment of me.

Anyway, I met some new people and had a blast. I went out after to celebrate a Thursday night with my friends.

Whew! So I survived. And today, I’m back to eating. It’s good to know that despite my Nervous Nelly anxiousness, when it comes to the real deal, I can be strong and single.

How about you? How did your first “ex”-perience go?

Advertisements